Assignment 19: Elana Ehl

After 3 years of trying to mend a relationship with my dad that was never really there to begin with and being told this advice over and over by multiple people it has finally stuck with me. People can't be forced to change, only you can change yourself. I struggled for a long time because I brushed this advice aside thinking that it was just my parents trying to make me feel better in a hopeless situation: trying to compromise with my dad so we could get along.

I would come home all the time from visiting him upset because he wasn't changing and making an effort to get along with me, while I test my magnanimous personality for the sake of trying to be civil. As many people already know it's hard to work through issues if one side is doing all the changing while the other one puts no effort forward to resolve the issue.

Now that I fully understand and accept that people can't be forced to change I have a bit of an easier time around my dad now because I no longer carry the burden of trying to change something that cannot be changed. I won't lie and say that accepting this advice has changed my relationship with my dad for the better because it hasn't. But it has made it easier to not be around him knowing that I have done all I can do to have a good relationship.