Alexis Kirkland: For the Love and Hate of Television

Probably one of the most common electronics you will find in the average household is a television. I used to be a slave to TV, having to keep it running as background noise, even wanting to work at Nickelodeon Studios. Well, that would still be a pretty awesome job, but I've moved past that. However, I still revel at the idea that TV is going to rot my brains, I adore being driven by advertisements and love knowing that big companies are controlling me like a robot through subliminal tactics. I love the submission of myself to entertainment.

I don't watch it as much as I used to, but when I do, I make sure I get the full effect. I grab a glass of water, I'm snuggled on the couch, eyes locked to the artificial lights burning my retinas, sharing a bag of chips with my dog. For me, I like the ambiance of watching TV more than the actual show itself. Unless it's Beyond Scared Straight, because that show is my favorite non-acting show of all time. But back to the ambiance; I have fallen in love with the culture of how people watch TV, so of course I'm going to share some BBQ Lays with my dog and sit too close to the screen. Of course I'll search relentlessly for the remote rather than pressing the buttons on the TV. Of course I'll keep the volume too loud. Doing all the things that you're not supposed to do, that make you seem like an awful person, makes my TV experience 100 times better.

Don't even get me started on the advertisements. Most people hate commercials. I love them. Like I said before, I can't get enough of the thought that I'm being used by corporations through their ads to do what they say. Buy this, go here, download that. Even the culture of commercials, remembering the slogans, reliving old memories with friends while watching old ads for breakfast cereals ("Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"), paper plates ("Oink, oink, Zoo Pals!"), and even ones for the Shirley Temple complete DVD series ("Shirley Temple like you've never seen her before! New restored edition! ANIMAL CRACKERS IN MY SOUP!") make me smile. And I wish I could tell you exactly why, but for some reason, I just love commercials and I love knowing that I'm a pawn for company after company after company.

So I guess you could say that if you remember any of those slogans I just recited from memory, then television is definitely a convenient delivery system for advertisers to send their messages to the masses. Whether you like it or not, you're being brainwashed by those advertisers through tactics and gimmicks and the classic "But wait, there's more!" Maybe you prefer to eat organic quinoa during your programs and keep the dog off the couch. Maybe you've got a volume limit (unless, you're my mom, who tells me that if it's too loud, you're too old). The IQ-dropping commercials and loads of snacks may be an inane use of time for some people, but for me, I can't get enough of it.