I never had to choose my subject- my subject rather chose me

• Fears -- Spiders (and most bugs), the dark, rejection, public speaking, letting people down, intense eye contact
• Annoyances -- judgmental/rude people, when people keep me from being somewhere I need to be, too much homework
• Accomplishments -- I am alive, I am healthy, I have amazing people in my life
• Confusions -- space and time
• Sorrows -- Stress, frustration with my sister, self image
• Dreams --  I want to travel, and experience other places that are completely different than here
• Idiosyncrasies -- needing to be places early or on time, my stuff being organized, spending too much time deciding what to wear, being constantly attentive to who is looking at me or near me in big crowds, (all of these things being caused by/causing my anxiety)
• Risks -- having spontaneous conversations with strangers (its actually impossible for me)
• Beloved Possessions, Now and Then -- then: my iPod touch   Now: my friends
• Problems -- Procrastination, lack of motivation, pleasing everyone

My list is pretty descriptive and self explanatory, so now I have to figure out which one to elaborate on.

My risk might seem sort of weird for some people that know me. Because once I know someone, and the how to carry out a conversation with them, I'm very outgoing. But if I don't know how to talk to you or how to start a conversation with you, then I most likely won't talk to you. Sometimes this part of me comes off as stuck up or rude, and that's not my intentions at all. I really enjoy being with people. I'm an extrovert, I'm just a shy one.

I am the actual worst when it comes to starting a conversation with someone I don't know well. I feel too awkward talking about school or stuff they don't really care about, yet I'm not creative enough to come up with a great conversation prompt. I just can't convince myself that going up to a person I want to be friends with, isn't weird. In my mind, I'm some strange person that will just walk up to you and start talking about the weather, due to my lack on conversation starters, creating an uncomfortable situation for both of us.

It's just baffling to me that my risk (something that makes me want to crawl under a table and hide) is something that some people do in their everyday life, and even enjoy.