BOO- grae chambers

I can handle ghost stories. I can handle haunted houses and low budget scary movies. But nothing gets my amygdala going like the thought of dying young, and eternity. I am a realistic person when it comes to what I think my life will look like, and I know it doesn't end with me in a nursing home. After being told for 16 years that I probably won't live past 40 you think I'd come to terms with the idea of death. But no, unfortunately the idea of it all scares the hell out of me. The problem with dying young is that you don't have time to do everything you want to do. When you have an expiration date hanging over your head, you worry that you'll waste too much time if you even lay down for a nap. (Although I can often convince myself that this isn't the case.) I have plans for myself and the idea of having to adjust them due to an early date with the devil, to put it bluntly, kind of blows. And then, probably more terrifying than the idea of a short life, is a long afterlife. This probably sounds incredibly weird, especially coming from someone who believes in heaven. I'm just afraid of the word forever, even if that forever is spent in a wonderful place. I need an end. I need there to be a break for my mind. I would go on and on about this topic but I'm a little terrified just writing about it so I'm gonna go now.