Changes Lucy Whitman Sandmeyer

Tourist Attraction

Mayors and members of small local government, listen up! People interested in the well-being of their city, tune in! Recently, we’ve discovered the ultimate attraction that can boost your city’s popularity through the roof. Feeling depressed because you can’t boast the nation’s largest skyscraper or the biggest film industry in the world? We have your easy solution and we’re offering it to you, no catch. All you have you have to do is create a pit in the center of the city. No jokes, it’s that simple. Now, digging a hole in the middle of downtown might seem a little ridiculous, but it’s a guaranteed way to bring in flocks of tourists straight to your town.

Still, don’t be too blunt about it; subtlety is key. Pose it as a construction project to revitalize your city—you won’t technically be lying. You can even create a sort of transition period where you tear the buildings down and simply leave an open space for people to gather. Once they begin to warm up to the idea of green space in the middle of the city, you’re free to begin the true project. The hole can’t be puny. It must be at least a mid-sized city block to gather any attention at all, and about one story deep. The more partial covering you can surround it with, the better. It creates an air of mystery without taking away from the spectacle: too much covering and the interest is lost.

Take these simple instructions and make your city the best in the world! Develop hotels to surround it, advertise it, but, honestly, it will make your city profit with no work at all. We know this works on the small scale: many practically unknown places have become the talk of the nation. You can become the prime location in just a few months. Good luck! You’d have to be an idiot to mess this up.