Changes!: Alexis Kirkland

Now more than ever, the majority of young people polled are saying that they prefer to live for others than themselves. This idea has been thriving for longer than we think, but has spiked in recent years due to social media. Allow us to explain.

Take your typical teenager. Surround them with people who all look alike, all wearing the same ugly half-rubber half-cloth rain shoe thingies, all wearing the same brand of shirts, all participating in the same lingo and slang. Now take that, and put it online for this teenager to see, all of the time. This teen has a 78% chance of following in their peers' footsteps, even if they think hitting the Quan is stupid or would internally rather die than wear sweatpants outside of their house, because they claim they'd rather live a lie than be true to who they are.

"I always thought that Birkenstock's were the most disgusting, unholy rubbish to ever be put on this Earth by God," says Una Riginal, an average 2015 teen. "But then everyone else started wearing them. I'd see people on Instagram wearing them. on Twitter, even on Tumblr. I still think they deserve to burn in the pits of the underworld, they're so hideous, but I'd rather wear them and hope someone gives me a compliment for looking just like they do, than go my day unnoticed for my shoes but content with myself and who I am. Plus, if I show them off online, I'll get more likes and favorites and thumbs up, which fill the empty void left inside of me each time I'm excluded in social events or my parents forget about me at the bus stop... every day. If I have no self worth left, at least I have 51 likes on my most recent post, dressed in my popular, but ugly, shoes."

Over half of the students polled in local high schools said that they purchase and wear popular brands not because they find them appealing, but because everyone they know and see on social media are also wearing those brands. They say it helps them feel much less unique and allows them to live as a shell of who they really are, which is their goal. "I noticed a trend of wearing socks with my Birkenstock's. I personally hate it, but hey, if someone else notices my choice of footwear and thinks it's appealing, that's all that matters, right?" Una continues. "Why be the person who makes me happy, when I can be someone I'm not, and make other people, who won't matter in the future, happy?"

The solution? Get rid of individuality! Focus more on core content classes rather than ones that stimulate creativity. Prioritize your looks over everything else in life! Show favoritism to those who act and dress the same as the majority of others, punish uniqueness. Studies conducted by the same scientists who closely monitor global warming are showing that if we take this route, we'll become more programmed to fit into the mold society wants us to be. That way, no one will feel left out, no one will experience loss or failure or sadness, and no one will develop important skills as a person through learning from their mistakes. Everyone can be the same, and we can all live in harmony. Scientists claim that this could even bring us closer to world peace. So next time you start to find a social trend obnoxious, immature, or annoying, ignore those better judgments and join them! It'll make the world a better, and more uniform, place.