BOO- Lauren Spivey

Life. Life scares me more than anything. The worst question is what do you want to be? Where do you want to go for college? I don't know the answers. All I know is that at this moment I'm trying to handle life as it comes at me. Recently I've been feeling a bit down due to social negativity so I decided to make the brave decision to delete Instagram and Snapchat because I don't see how it's helping me be happy or that is has any benefit at all. I will honestly say that I've been opening my phone and going to click on the app and then realize it's not there. I think this shows that it was a habit to check my accounts and I didn't really get anything out of it. I believe in doing this it will help lead me in the right direction to become more happy because I won't feel obligated to check all my social media sites and I can avoid all the drama that comes with it. Now that's not all that scary but I'm just afraid that, speaking honestly here, no one truly likes me. Over the summer my house got egged and toilet papered and I understand that it's usually a joke but I think once you add eggs into it, it becomes evil or mean. When I woke up and saw what had happened it felt like my heart broke because there was someone who didn't like me, so much so that they would attempt to vandalize my house. This was probably the first step that started my insecurity because now it's just built up and whenever I see someone whisper I think they are talking about me, I guess that's called paranoia. So yes my worst fear has to do with social norms and being accepted which sucks but I am slowly, I think, trying to make my way past it and become fully happy. I know it will take awhile and usually confidence comes with age but I'm hoping that's not the case this time so i can get rid of all the negativity and finally become truly happy with my life.