A new drug, Tetratorateratiraturatheraphin, has been released that doubles the intelligence in adolescents.
"Our son was suffering from Asperger's disease and falling behind in school," said Carrie Wilson. "Tetratorateratiraturatheraphin was the miracle he needed- now, at the age of 7, he has already graduated college without having to go through high school."
Myrtle Stone, a mother of 12, cited Tetratorateratiraturatheraphin as "a remedy for all who don't want their kid to go to public school, and don't have the money for private school or the time for homeschooling. Now all my kids are working for me at my office, and I don't have to do a thing!"
We even received remarks from the President about this new drug.
"Now with Tetratorateratiraturatheraphin, we can have actual five year olds in Congress instead of 40 year olds who act like they're five. This is perfect for creating the future leaders of America, and I am enthralled to see what steps these scientists will make next."
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