Changes- Jordan Strange

Are you a high schooler consumed with school? Always tired? Restless? Can't seem to get enough sleep? Well, we have a solution for you! We know your days are filled with lots of hard classes and tiring work, but that's just why we've decided to help you out! Many researchers have shown that there have been high rates of high heart rates, which leads to possible heart failure and strokes. Anxiety and depression are very prevalent in the high school scene, as well. Why are we putting this generation of teens and adolescents through this?
To prevent the escalation of these rates, we have a solution. 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, we have the perfect place for you! It's called HOME. It is so simple! It doesn't even require transportation. You are also given full access the all the food you want, and there's even a full kitchen to make anything you'd like! We know that school is stressful, and we can provide for you drop-out forms any time you'd like. It doesn't require any money, either, so that's another bonus!
LISTEN TO THIS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SLEEP. There's a little bit of work involved. All you must do is send in a sleep report every month, because we care for your well being and our clients must get their beauty sleep! Scientists have proven that this reduces stress levels by 100%. Some may say that this doesn't prepare you for the "real world," but who are we kidding? You can get back into the flow of school anytime you want! You have one life, and you might as well live it stress-free!