Turkeys forming Voltron by Brooks Spears

Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, beef, broccoli, fried rice, and chicken. What do these things have in common? Well, some of them are typical Thanksgiving food and some of them are not. And how do these things relate to Thanksgiving? Yes.

Now that that's out of the way, Thanksgiving is a fairly standard holiday. A bunch of people congregate, eat, then go home. That's all it is. Nothing too extraordinary or cumbersome, just enough gravy. Great!

But my family usually congregates into a single unit and combines to form Voltron. We then proceed to save the planet by redirecting the meteor which had previously been hurling towards earth. This is, however, done surreptitiously in accordance with the government's secret society so regular Americans are ignorant. We then begin to sit down at my uncle's place and quietly, or disruptively, roast each other, and the food, over the sounds of toddlers.

And that isn't even the most eventful holiday in my family. Don't even ask about Christmas.